Short Synopsis:
The core focus of the book is to reframe divorce from a shame and blame game to a paradigm where divorce is viewed through the lens of grief. It offers each reader an opportunity to show up for their divorce and present their best selves, even if they don’t feel like it. It emphasizes honor and respect for everyone involved.
This book is an open and honest portrayal of divorce from the perspective of a veteran divorce attorney, who has also been divorced. We live in a time of volatility, uncertainty, complexity, and ambiguity. A divorce is just like that, and the antidote to those conditions includes concepts like collaboration, deep listening, innovation, flexibility, and an ability to pivot. Collaborative divorce is the best kept secret of family lawyers. It is an opportunity to emerge from a divorce, healthy and wholehearted, not bitter, and resentful. Learn how to do it here.
My Review:
If marriage is a blissful memory that everybody wants to cherish lifelong, well then divorce is a harsh reality that nobody wants to recollect. No matter what you say, divorce is disturbing and unpleasant either for both or one of the spouses. The process and settlement in divorce is often lengthy and embarrassing, psychologically putting pressure and draining energy.
Going by the law, there are a few ways to get divorced such as do-it-yourself, get a lawyer, and so on. However, the best way is ‘Collaborative Divorce.’ What is it and how does it work? Worry not, the answers lie in Nanci A Smith’s book, ‘Untangling Your Marriage’ – an exclusive book about getting divorced without being affected by it economically, socially, psychologically, and much more. The author is an experienced divorce lawyer, practicing in Vermont.
The book commences with a handy introduction on Collaborative Divorce. If you got it seriously, further book reading will be effortless.
Collaborative divorce is an out-of-court dispute resolution model. Under the Collaborative divorce one can save the hardships of adversarial process, which is not only time consuming but also shames one’s personal issues. The author repeatedly asserted that divorce is heavy on emotional side; it’s not so easy to bear it, co-parent your children lovingly, and handle the pressure. Often during and after the divorce, the experiences are bitter, children are confused and scared of their own parents. However, Collaborative divorce process is different. It guides one till the end process with a mental health coach, financial neutral, and there is a proper participation agreement and a disqualification clause. It comes with a proper road map and appendices for personal perusal.
The world is accepting Collaborative divorce process, across many countries like Canada, Australia, Italy, England, and Israel. It’s a sort of paradigm shift that make meaning of one’s life during and after the divorce.
As Nanci A. Smith’s ‘Untangling Your Marriage’ chugs ahead, the author sprinkles the content with relevant case studies from her life and some of her clients. Not only about the litigation highlights, but the book also acts like a personal counselor with valuable insights on psycho, spiritual, emotional health while covering how to be your best self during your divorce explained with terms and children/no children and much more.
Reading this book means getting clarity on collaborative divorce process over adversarial divorce that’s dangerous, like a bloodbath of family in a court. No one can survive its ramifications. In adversarial divorce process discovery process is tedious and costly.
It’s an encyclopedia on a collaborative divorce process, before I conclude this review I would like to bring some of its fringe benefits given in the book.
“You will likely feel proud of yourselves. You have an excellent chance of being friends and good co-parents to your children; you have the opportunity to heal from the shock of a divorce, and you can choose to maintain a sense of family, even if you are now living in separate houses.”
All in all, the book’s nature is highly informative. And it certainly looks like it is coming from a veteran of the field. Such a complex legal content but Nanci pragmatically explained everything. Undoubtedly, it’s a valuable book for many.
My Rating:
4.5 out of 5!!
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